We all hit adversity. And chaos. It's inevitable. Things go wrong, they change and it feels like we're in deep water. But how we react will dictate whether it's a problem or a challenge. This then opens the way to either sinking into anxiety and stress or transformation through learning and insight. Gritting our teeth and moving into survival mode can get us through - but will leave us depleted, not having learnt much and never wanting to repeat the experience.
Examples of the type of adversity I mean here are:
One: Get Some Perspective
When we're in the thick of it, it's hard to get perspective on what's really going on. Because our thoughts are so immersive we easily lose perspective and believe everything we're feeling and thinking. The truth is, our own thinking is limited and at times unhelpful. In fact, many of our thoughts are based on stories we tell ourselves - stories that are fundamentally untrue. No wonder we feel confused sometimes.
To get some perspective talk to someone you can trust about what's going on - a mentor, friend or colleague. A Coach can also help. Find someone that can magnify your wisdom and help you see beyond your problems.
Two: Ask Yourself - Where is The Problem Really Coming From?
We might find it hard to see where our problems are really coming from. Often we feel stressed and experience some kind of mental pain when things get challenging, but that's our internal reaction to external events at work there. What we really need to look at (and give space to) is our feelings. By separating out how we are feeling about events from the events themselves, we can identify what is causing us difficulty or discomfort internally and let go.
By seeing our feelings like temporary weather in our mind, then we can gain clarity again. This then puts us in a much better position to deal with the external events and challenges.
Three: Know That Clarity and Insight Are Available To You At Any Time
The deeper nature of our mind is clarity. And when we allow it, our wisdom is there for us. Our emotions can cloud our judgement, but the essential clarity of our mind is always there. You can enhance this greatly by meditating for a few minutes every day.
Four: Get Out of Your Own Way
Often we get stuck - thinking we are the feelings we are having and then following a story such as 'I can't cope with this' or 'I'm an anxious person'. When we see beyond our superficial thoughts and stop identifying so strongly with our feelings we can return to equilibrium. Getting out of our own way means confidence returns and we feel more naturally able to meet any challenges we are facing.
Five: Look After Yourself
It seems obvious but it's really hard to get enough sleep, exercise and nutrition when things get tough. Make sure you relax in the evenings, after some nutritious food and don't put off that trip to the gym, meditation session or yoga class. You can thank yourself afterwards!
Want To Find Out More?
For a free one-to-one Coaching consultation, or just a chat, contact me on 07717 172 691.